Getting Deeper...

Here I am nearing the end of week four of nursing school. Things are beginning to feel hectic. In some ways, I feel like this program is mapped out and set up in a way to keep us on a straight path. Other times, as a transfer student, I feel a bit overlooked. I'm still trying to figure out where the computer labs are on campus, recently found out I have a physical mailbox somewhere after I was told that my health documents were there, and I'm feeling frustrated with schedule changes. The craziest class of the semester is Foundations of Nursing right now. It's not that the content is that in-depth, but that the amount of time required for it is insane. It's a five credit course to be completed in eight weeks. This means eight hours of lecture a week along with six hours of lab. The labs bother me a little. I'd like it more if our lecture teacher had something more to do with our labs. In Foundations of Nursing we started out learning basics like bed making, assisting with walking (ambulation) and bedpan use. Recently, we've started doing a few more procedure type things, like inserting a Foley catheter, nasogastric tube and nasopharyngeal suctioning. We have two weeks left until we start our clinical rotations. I will be going to Frasier Meadows in Boulder, Colorado. It is a long-term care facility. I think the biggest challenge I will personally face will be making the transition from CNA to nursing student. As nursing students we will have more responsibilities, but mentally I'll probably view myself as a CNA for some time.

I had two exams this week and one quiz. Exams are serious business; quizzes can be retaken without penalty if needed. I had a Foundations exam covering the topics of ambulation, wound care and vital signs. I did well and finally managed an "A". Pharmocology was my other exam, which went equally as well. I'm having troubles making myself study as much as I ought to. I just find myself so tired of thinking about this stuff after such long classes. I want to do well, but my brain needs a break. When I get home I'm busy cleaning, playing with Peanut, and talking to Eric. By the time dinner is over with, the night is gone and I'm ready for bed! Today I feel kind of in the dumps. I'm not sure why. My lab instructors have been stressing me out a bit I think. Today we were given a set of instructions for obtaining a Psycho-social assessment, which we had never heard of our read about until the moment we were given the handout. Then we were to go to the simulation lab for the first time where we were given a scenario to read about a patient. The manikin in the room is high-tech and our instructors have the ability to hook it up and talk through it. There's a giant glass window that instructors can look in and watch you through. So, I went in, read my scenario and attempted to talk about the questions we were suppose to cover with this "talking" manikin. There were three instructors peering through the window, watching me "interact" with my manikin.

I'm not an actor. I felt stupid. Some days are just better than others. I had a pounding headache, was uncomfortably hot, and became extremely anxious. After I left, feeling as though I had been examined under a microscope by competent nurses, I had bit of a meltdown. I'm a crier and I hate that about the way I deal with anxiety and stress. It's made me feel shitty all day. So, I've been studying for a few hours and think I'll now try to go find my mailbox somewhere on campus. Ridiculous.